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Busted Rhymes/Transcript
Cast (In order of appearance): Yugi, Joey, Tristan, Téa, Bakura, Kaiba, Mokuba, Kemo, Para, Dox, Pegasus Date: October 23, 2006 Running Time: 5:49 Transcript Intro YAMI: The following cartoon is based on real events. Some names were changed in order to protect the innocent. In the cave YUGI, JOEY AND TRISTAN: (heaving noises) JOEY: (to Tea and Bakura) Hey, why ain't you guys helping? TÉA: Get back to work, slave! BAKURA: I've got a bloody good idea. Let's use my Gaydar in order to locate some gay people. They'll be able to help us. (The others start following Bakura's lead) TRISTAN: Why would there be gay people down here? JOEY: Gay people like to hibernate in caves. I saw it on the Discovery Channel. TÉA: Joey, that's bats. JOEY: Bats, gay people, same thing. (The group finally stops in front of a dueling field.) BAKURA: It seems my evil ring was pointing to this room. JOEY: Oh my god! This is unbelievable! Bakura actually did something useful! (The Village People's "YMCA" plays and the Paradox Brothers bounce onscreen, doing martial-arts-style moves and stances in time with the music.) BAKURA: (over music) Oh my, I wonder if those are the gay people? JOEY: (over music) There is a slight possibility. The title sequence plays but still to the "YMCA" music In a forest KAIBA: (thinking) My brother's being held hostage, but I don't really feel like running, so I'm just going to walk briskly towards Pegasus's castle. Besides, he's probably okay. In the dungeon MOKUBA: I can't feel my legs! Back in the forest KAIBA: (thinking) (pulls out a picture of Mokuba as a kid) This picture reminds me of when Mokuba and I were just small children. A title screen for "Jim Henson's Kaiba Babies" featuring "Lil' Seto" and "Lil' Mokuba" appears VOICE: (singing) Kaiba Babies, we make our dreams come true... flashback to orphanage KAIBA: (voiceover) We lived in an orphanage, because I had fired our parents. It was a very depressing time in my life, since I didn't have any money, so I was unable to screw the rules. Mokuba was often bullied, and when you're getting picked on by orphans, you know you're a loser. LIL' SETO: Here's your toy back, Mokuba, that'll be five bucks. KAIBA: (voiceover) Whenever we felt slightly less miserable, we would play chess, but since it didn't involve dragons or expensive holograms, I found it extremely boring. LIL' MOKUBA: I love you, big brother! LIL' SETO: 'Kay, thanks. end flashback KAIBA: (thinking) That's odd, my Kaiba senses are tingling. KEMO: (behind a tree) Attention, Duelists! (tries to attack Kaiba, but gets elbowed in the stomach) My hair is being assaulted! KAIBA: Idiot. Next time you sneak up on somebody, try keeping your mouth shut. (They both turn their attention towards the castle) KEMO: I knew those child-grabbing classes were a waste of money. In the underground dueling field PARA: We are the Brothers Paradox! DOX: And we love wearing women's frocks! PARA: As villains go, we're kinda lame! DOX: But never mind that, let's play a card game! YAMI: We have to duel these guys as a team, Joey. That means you do everything I say, you got that? JOEY: Duh, okay. PARA: We are villains who like to rhyme! DOX: In fact, we do it all the time! PARA: You may think it's rather crass... DOX: But you can stick your cards right up your nose! PARA: You were supposed to say "ass", brother. I thought we rehearsed this! YAMI: Leave it to Beaver Warrior! (summons Beaver Warrior) PARA: Wall Shadow! Destroy his Beaver Warrior! JOEY: Let this be a lesson to ya, Yug'. Never, under any circumstances, leave ya beaver exposed. YAMI: You're right, Joey. My beaver was on full display. Next time I'll take better care of my beaver. TÉA: I didn't know Yugi had a beaver. At the entrance to Pegasus's Dungeons KEMO: Attention, Duelists! My hair has security clearance to get through this door! KAIBA: Why do you keep saying, "Attention, Duelists"? I'm the only other person here. KEMO: (As door leading to dungeon opens) Hey, shut up, it's what I do, okay? At the dueling field SONG: (the Dark Magician is using the Mystic Box to destroy the Paradox Brothers' Jirai Gumo while Weebl's "Magical Trevor" plays) Everyone loves Magical Trevor, 'cause the tricks that he does are ever so clever... PARA: You have tricked us with your magic box! DOX: We invite you to suck on our co- BAKURA interrupting: Cor, blimey! That was a smashing maneuver! Good show, chaps! TRISTAN: Stop being so British. In the dungeon, the mighty dungeon KAIBA: So this is about the hundred-and-seventy-eighth time my brother's been kidnapped. Thanks for listening, by the way; it feels good to get this stuff off my chest. KEMO: Attention, Duelist! My hair is definitely not leading you into a trap! KAIBA: Listen, if you say one more thing about your hair, I'm gonna shave it off. KEMO: You wouldn't have the guts. KAIBA: Try me, big boy. At the dueling field PARA: Against our Gate Guardian, you stand no chance! DOX: I'm not wearing any underpants! PARA: Is that true, brother, or are you just rhyming? DOX: I didn't want to throw off our timing! ...But it is true. YAMI: Joey, it's time for a surprise attack! JOEY: No worries, Yug', I got ya back. YAMI: Hang on a second, are we rhyming too? JOEY: Don't ask me, I ain't got a clue. YAMI: This is like something out of Dr. Seuss! TÉA: I can't stop staring at Yugi's caboose! BAKURA: Everyone seems to have gone all rhymey! TRISTAN: Shut the hell up, you stupid limey! Dungeon KAIBA: So you wanna catch a movie later, or... KEMO: Rejected! (activates the alarm, which sounds like the Red Alert from Star Trek: The Next Generation) KAIBA: The alarm! What the hell have you done? KEMO: That's for threatening my hair! KAIBA: I'll never forgive you for this--whoever you are. (runs off) Dueling field YAMI: I activate a spell that allows our monsters to trade places! Which would be completely useless in any other situation. (the Dark Magician and Black Skull Dragon switch places with accompanying Star Trek sound effects) JOEY: Our phasers are at the ready, captain! YAMI: Make it so, number one! (The Black Skull Dragon destroys the Gate Guardian with phaser blasts) TÉA: All right, they won! TRISTAN: Now they've got all ten star chips! BAKURA: And you know what that means! TÉA, BAKURA AND TRISTAN: This crappy tournament is almost over! PARA: It seems that we ran out of luck! DOX: It's just a card game, who gives a fu- Dungeon MOKUBA: Big brother! You came to rescue me again! What the hell took you so long? PEGASUS (enters the room): Hello, Kaiba-boy, I've been expecting you. KAIBA: Pegasus! I'm gonna make you pay for stealing my cards! MOKUBA: And for kidnapping me, right, Seto? KAIBA: Shut up, Mokuba, mommy and daddy are talking. PEGASUS: I'm afraid your princess is in another castle, Kaiba-boy. (he uses his Millennium Eye to steal Mokuba's soul) MOKUBA: Big brother.... (fades) KAIBA: What have you done now? PEGASUS: I've turned Mokuba into a monster card, and he doesn't have any attack or defense points! KAIBA: You sick bastard! That makes him even more worthless than Kuriboh! Please, I'll do anything! Just don't release that card to the general public! PEGASUS: In that case, I want you to have a rematch with Yugi-boy! And this time, you have to win! KAIBA: I'll do it! But only to avenge the death of my little brother. MOKUBA: But I'm not dead, Seto! KAIBA: Shut up, Mokuba. the Muppet Babies theme plays CAPTION: leave your beaver unattended Stinger: Chibi video game versions of Mai, Yugi and Joey celebrating while the battle victory theme from Final Fantasy VI plays 1x13